The first installment of this series took a glimpse into the life of John Gilchrist and his fiancée (now wife) Mikaela Samuel. Part II features the lifestyle of Nicole and Daryl Greene, who for the past 6 years have been navigating the unique challenges that arise for couples and families when a spouse makes an income playing abroad. They also have the challenges of raising their 4-month old daughter while Daryl continues to play overseas.
Daryl played his college ball at Niagra University from 1998-2002 and received All-MAAC 1st Team honors in his senior season. Following a successful college career, Daryl made the jump overseas and has been playing there ever since. In his 9-year professional career, the 6 foot 1, 192-pound left handed combo guard has played for teams in Holland, Finland, and Poland. Last season, Daryl played only 9 games for ISS Sportino Inowroclawl in Poland due to coaching and front office changes that cut his season short. He has been home in Largo, Maryland working hard on his game and is ready to play again next season at a high level.
sz: Where and when did you meet Daryl?
Nicole: I met Daryl in May 2005 at my house. Mike Tyson was fighting on cable television and I ordered the fight and invited a bunch of people over. He came with his best friend whom I knew.
sz: How long have you been married?
Nicole: We’ve been married now for almost three years.
sz: What stage of his playing career was he in when you met?
Nicole: When we met, Daryl had just returned from Finland, where he had been playing. He was home for the summer. It was a GREAT summer!
sz: Do you live overseas all year or return during the off-season?
Nicole: Daryl and I actually “separate” during the season. He goes away to the team and I stay in the states. When we can, we visit. He returns to the U.S. during the off-season.
sz: How many years has Daryl been playing overseas? Do you travel overseas with him or do you stay in the U.S.?
Nicole: He’s been playing overseas for 9 years—since he graduated from college in 2002. I have traveled to visit, but never to stay.
sz: Even though you and Daryl have adjusted to your individual lifestyles, do you have the opportunity to get to know Daryl’s teammates/business partners abroad during the season?
Nicole: Daryl tells me all about his teammates! It’s very exciting to me because then I feel like I know everyone when I’ve never met them! So when I visit, I get introductions from Daryl like, “This is the guy who…” Daryl’s season with the Polish team, JKK Gornik Walbrzych, was the first time I was able to meet the entire team. The day I arrived in town, there was a bowling party. At the game, I met and made friends with his teammates’ girlfriends and wives. And now, we stay connected through Facebook.
sz: Do you have children? How old are they? In what ways have they needed to adapt to the lifestyle, friends, school, etc. that Daryl’s professional schedule creates for the family?
Nicole: We have one daughter who is now 4 months. She hasn’t had to do much adapting, but she was 20 days old when she first met daddy. He was away in Poland during the season when she was born and it was VERY hard for him. It was hard for me too, but I was surrounded by family and close friends, so they helped me a lot. I sent him pictures and videos daily.
sz: Do you work? Can you and/or do you participate in this job while you are overseas?
Nicole: I work full-time as a Media Director at the church we attend. The church has a television broadcast on four television stations and I am responsible for the production and post production of the shows. It is a very demanding position and it cannot be completed overseas. This is the main reason why I stay in the states when it’s time for his season. I really enjoy my job.
sz: What are some challenging issues you face with Daryl’s professional career taking him overseas to play?
Nicole: The biggest challenge is that many times we don’t know when he will have to leave. For example, the last two times he has left to go overseas, he was called one day and gone the next. It just happens so fast. But it’s not so hard because he was doing this when I met him, so I knew what I was getting into! So, I just cry my little tears when he leaves and then submerse myself in work since I don’t have him to hang out with after work!
sz: Have you noticed any beneficial changes that make life easier for families of overseas players when one spouse is working abroad and the other is at home?
Nicole: Two things I love about Daryl’s contracts is that a) they don’t require that he use any of the money he is making for living expenses and b) the teams always work out something to either allow him to come home mid-season, or to allow me to come and visit him. That is the most helpful because if we had to pay for two homes and cars in both locations, AND to buy plane tickets back and forth, playing overseas would not be very worthwhile.
sz: Did you play a sport growing up? If so, which sport and to what level of competition did you play and how has your athletic experience helped you understand Daryl’s career better?
Nicole: I played high school volleyball growing up and I coached high school volleyball while I was in college, so I understand his passion and his drive for basketball. Basketball was never a favorite sport for me. However, I can’t say that I had the same drive for volleyball. I’ve seen Daryl push himself to do things that almost seem humanly impossible. He’ll push himself through pain and fatigue. And I look at him and realize that the reason I couldn’t play volleyball in college was because I listened to my pain and fatigue and would quit. I admire him for that.
sz: What advice do you have for couples who are just beginning this professional journey lifestyle? Any advice regarding issues you feel are important for families to be aware of when making the transition?
Nicole: This journey is for a small group of families. Not everyone is capable of handling this type of situation. Being apart from one another so long can really create separation in a relationship and either person could feel like they have two different lives. You have to both be people who know that you’re married and confident that the other will not step outside of that marriage while you are apart from one another. We do everything within our power to make the other person feel secure. So, even though we’re in another country, we always know where the other person is. We are in constant contact by Skype, instant messenger, text messages, or cell phone. So, although we cannot see one another, we are never really apart. And when the time zones don’t permit us to be in contact, we focus on our work. And we do not entertain friendships with the opposite sex!
sz: What are the advantages, benefits, and rewards for you and your family that come with Daryl’s job as a professional athlete?
Nicole: Overall, playing basketball is Daryl’s dream, passion, and career. I would never ask him to give that up because I know how much he desires to do it. So, I have the extreme benefit of seeing (or hearing) him fulfilled when he’s playing. And that is worth all the time away!
sz: Nicole thank you for taking time out of your busy life to participant in this interview. This article may also be viewed at www.accessathletes.com
*Featured guests are not former nor current clients of Susan Zaro
Monday, July 5, 2010
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Motivating Junior Tennis Players
There are a tremendous amount of good ideas, technologies, coaching, and sport science knowledge available on-line and through tennis programs to help junior players achieve competency in the sport of tennis. In Northern California where I work and teach tennis to juniors the quality of coaching is deep. Interest in tennis is high. What is missing for families and young players are user friendly environments for their children to develop their competitive experience and skills.
Tennis should look more closely at the youth soccer, basketball even baseball system of immersion. A family whose child plays on a soccer team frequently will play 2-3 games in one day during a weekend. A tennis family drives 30-40 miles to a tournament which maybe provides a first round or feed-in consolation. The fee for the tournament is up to $45.00 at some tournaments. The child may receive a t-shirt and play two matches. How do you think a parent feels spending hundreds of dollars on coaching, clinics, tennis equipment, entry fees to watch their child play one or two matches and lose? Realistically most families can't keep up with the financial stress. Versus a family can for $300.00 or less join a soccer team, and be guaranteed at least one to two practices a week, the coaching can be hit or miss but they are out on the field competing and are guaranteed least 12 or more competitive games.
If tournaments at the Novice and Challenger level converted to round-robin the 30 or 40 minute drive to the tournament - cost of family time and gas - would begin to be worth it. Value to the junior player is knowing that regardless of the outcome he/she will play 4-5 matches when entered in a tournament. The longer term pay off is the young player gets to test his/her skills against all the players in the tournament vs. the luck of the draw or seeding. It provides a truer value to the family investment, and a more worthwhile value to the player's mental, emotional, physical growth.
Why do kids quit tennis? Unless they are top dog and winning it's tough getting squashed in the early rounds week after week. Think back to when you were 9 or 10 and how lousy it felt to be "the loser." It's even more uncomfortable to be in that spot today with the pressures of junior tennis. But if the player knows that he/she has the opportunity to play all the players not only does the player have hope that it's possible to beat at least one player in the mix, they also receive valuable competitive play time. Overtime playing that many matches the player will improve or find another sport. Over and over again the discussion moves to what is the purpose of junior sports? Development. Mental, physical, strategic/technical/ emotional development.
There are many ways to make tournaments not only user friendly but welcome the families and players who are participating. Motivation is having a sense of purpose and opportunity for the outcome to be favorable. Someone may not be able to beat the strongest player's in the field but at the junior level it's important to have a shot at least practicing against a stronger player in a tournament. A less skilled player may find that he/she can't beat the best players but at least use the weekend to practice competing.
For example; A tournament entry in an age group draws 16 players. Players who lose in the the first round can be put in one round robin group and the other 8 players can be put into another grouping. Over four days of competition a player will play 7 matches. Competition allows players the opportunity to see different styles of play and figure out what strategies work in what situations.
There are excellent tools to draw upon to help a player learn to hit a tennis ball. Now there needs to be more user friendly modifications in the early stages in the competitive arena so the young players have the time and space to gain their footing and confidence. There is no shortage of talented athletic youths.
Tennis is an individual sport at the professional level. Offer players a user friendly environment to find their way.
Tennis should look more closely at the youth soccer, basketball even baseball system of immersion. A family whose child plays on a soccer team frequently will play 2-3 games in one day during a weekend. A tennis family drives 30-40 miles to a tournament which maybe provides a first round or feed-in consolation. The fee for the tournament is up to $45.00 at some tournaments. The child may receive a t-shirt and play two matches. How do you think a parent feels spending hundreds of dollars on coaching, clinics, tennis equipment, entry fees to watch their child play one or two matches and lose? Realistically most families can't keep up with the financial stress. Versus a family can for $300.00 or less join a soccer team, and be guaranteed at least one to two practices a week, the coaching can be hit or miss but they are out on the field competing and are guaranteed least 12 or more competitive games.
If tournaments at the Novice and Challenger level converted to round-robin the 30 or 40 minute drive to the tournament - cost of family time and gas - would begin to be worth it. Value to the junior player is knowing that regardless of the outcome he/she will play 4-5 matches when entered in a tournament. The longer term pay off is the young player gets to test his/her skills against all the players in the tournament vs. the luck of the draw or seeding. It provides a truer value to the family investment, and a more worthwhile value to the player's mental, emotional, physical growth.
Why do kids quit tennis? Unless they are top dog and winning it's tough getting squashed in the early rounds week after week. Think back to when you were 9 or 10 and how lousy it felt to be "the loser." It's even more uncomfortable to be in that spot today with the pressures of junior tennis. But if the player knows that he/she has the opportunity to play all the players not only does the player have hope that it's possible to beat at least one player in the mix, they also receive valuable competitive play time. Overtime playing that many matches the player will improve or find another sport. Over and over again the discussion moves to what is the purpose of junior sports? Development. Mental, physical, strategic/technical/ emotional development.
There are many ways to make tournaments not only user friendly but welcome the families and players who are participating. Motivation is having a sense of purpose and opportunity for the outcome to be favorable. Someone may not be able to beat the strongest player's in the field but at the junior level it's important to have a shot at least practicing against a stronger player in a tournament. A less skilled player may find that he/she can't beat the best players but at least use the weekend to practice competing.
For example; A tournament entry in an age group draws 16 players. Players who lose in the the first round can be put in one round robin group and the other 8 players can be put into another grouping. Over four days of competition a player will play 7 matches. Competition allows players the opportunity to see different styles of play and figure out what strategies work in what situations.
There are excellent tools to draw upon to help a player learn to hit a tennis ball. Now there needs to be more user friendly modifications in the early stages in the competitive arena so the young players have the time and space to gain their footing and confidence. There is no shortage of talented athletic youths.
Tennis is an individual sport at the professional level. Offer players a user friendly environment to find their way.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Brittany Gilman - Sports Marketer
Brittany Gilman is the Founder and President of Athlete Relations of Los Angeles-based BG Sports, a sports marketing, PR, and management agency. BG Sports also offers their clients concierge, event planning, business assistance, travel, and personal assistant services. With over 9 years of experience in the professional sports world and over 20 years of personal athletic experience, Brittany combines her wealth of sports industry experience and unique knowledge as a professional athlete, trainer, fitness model, and Marketing Director to assist her athlete clients. BG Sports was established in the spring of 2008 and its focus is representing NFL players.
sz: Brittany what events and/or experiences in your professional career led to the inspiration to start BG Sports?
Brittany Gilman: My entire life I have been involved in sports in one form or another. I was put on skis at the age of 2, played soccer my whole life, ran track, and was a professional snowboarder during college. During my snowboard career I acted as my own agent, negotiating all my contracts and managing my career. After my snowboard career, for a while my goal was to be the first female strength coach in the NFL, and so I began pursuing that path. I worked at USC as a Graduate Assistant Strength and Conditioning Coach for the football team and this was somewhat of an initiation into the football industry. Following my time at USC, I went to Auburn where I was also a strength coach and earned my Masters in Biomechanics. It was at this time when I realized I wanted to work in the business side of sports and with football.
I moved back to LA and did an internship at a sports agency for a few months and then decided to start my own firm.
sz: Who are your typical clients? Professional athletes, college athletes, coaches?
Brittany Gilman: The majority of BG Sports clients are NFL athletes; however, we cater to all sports, including track and field, snowboarding, basketball, baseball, soccer, as well as offer consulting to companies.
sz: In what ways can your services boost an athlete’s image and marketability?
Brittany Gilman: In order to boost an athlete’s image and marketability, we focus on increasing their Q-value. This is achieved through performance on the field, as well as off the field through event attendance, interviews, social media, endorsements, community involvement, and more.
sz: Give us some examples of how the services your company provides are separate from those of a sports agent.
Brittany Gilman: An agent’s main goal is to negotiate team contracts. We focus on an athlete’s career off the field. Many agents offer marketing and PR services, but it is often difficult to provide the individualized attention that is required to fully take advantage of opportunities available to an athlete.
sz: Describe the roll you play when a company hires you. Is your job to match the right athlete to fit the marketing/product image the company is seeking? Can you give an example of how this works?
Brittany Gilman: Each athlete and company we work with is unique. We focus on individualized marketing plans to fit every client. At times, companies will cater to a particular market, and thus be looking for a particular look or personality. In that case we do our best to match our clients to the company to fulfill this desired role.
sz: Is there any typical advice you give to athletes looking to advance their commercial marketability?
Brittany Gilman: Hiring a publicist and marketing agent is the first step. It is also crucial to get involved in the community, attend events, maintain a positive image, and ultimately perform on and off the field.
sz: What are strong athletic and personality criteria companies look for when they seek out an athlete to market a product?
Brittany Gilman: Each company is unique in terms of the criteria they seek in an athlete. Additionally, it depends on the target market. In general, leadership, humor, charisma, and confidence are all common characteristics companies look for in a potential athlete.
sz: In what ways does your background as an athlete and strength and conditioning business influence your understanding of the needs of your clients?
Brittany Gilman: My background as an athlete has created who I am today and I maintain the mindset of an athlete. I understand where they are coming from, the pressures, and the lifestyle. My background as a strength coach has given me an inside perspective on the other side of athletics and enabled me to be a motivator and an influencer. This combination has given me an incredible ability to relate to and communicate with my clients.
sz: As a female in this business, what advantage do you have working within the world of professional men’s sports?
Brittany Gilman: Women think differently than men, and thus bring unique perspectives and communication. By nature, women are nurturing and caretakers. I believe this can be refreshing in an industry dominated by men.
sz: What are the most interesting elements of your day-to-day job?
Brittany Gilman: Every day brings its own events and excitement, so you never know what your day will behold.
sz: Do you have any favorite inspirational stories, tips or quotes that have guided you on your professional path?
Brittany Gilman: I always remind myself that I created my business from scratch, and that the only person that can hold me back is myself.
This interview may also be viewed on www.AccessAthletes.com
*Featured guest are not former nor current clients of Susan Zaro
sz: Brittany what events and/or experiences in your professional career led to the inspiration to start BG Sports?
Brittany Gilman: My entire life I have been involved in sports in one form or another. I was put on skis at the age of 2, played soccer my whole life, ran track, and was a professional snowboarder during college. During my snowboard career I acted as my own agent, negotiating all my contracts and managing my career. After my snowboard career, for a while my goal was to be the first female strength coach in the NFL, and so I began pursuing that path. I worked at USC as a Graduate Assistant Strength and Conditioning Coach for the football team and this was somewhat of an initiation into the football industry. Following my time at USC, I went to Auburn where I was also a strength coach and earned my Masters in Biomechanics. It was at this time when I realized I wanted to work in the business side of sports and with football.
I moved back to LA and did an internship at a sports agency for a few months and then decided to start my own firm.
sz: Who are your typical clients? Professional athletes, college athletes, coaches?
Brittany Gilman: The majority of BG Sports clients are NFL athletes; however, we cater to all sports, including track and field, snowboarding, basketball, baseball, soccer, as well as offer consulting to companies.
sz: In what ways can your services boost an athlete’s image and marketability?
Brittany Gilman: In order to boost an athlete’s image and marketability, we focus on increasing their Q-value. This is achieved through performance on the field, as well as off the field through event attendance, interviews, social media, endorsements, community involvement, and more.
sz: Give us some examples of how the services your company provides are separate from those of a sports agent.
Brittany Gilman: An agent’s main goal is to negotiate team contracts. We focus on an athlete’s career off the field. Many agents offer marketing and PR services, but it is often difficult to provide the individualized attention that is required to fully take advantage of opportunities available to an athlete.
sz: Describe the roll you play when a company hires you. Is your job to match the right athlete to fit the marketing/product image the company is seeking? Can you give an example of how this works?
Brittany Gilman: Each athlete and company we work with is unique. We focus on individualized marketing plans to fit every client. At times, companies will cater to a particular market, and thus be looking for a particular look or personality. In that case we do our best to match our clients to the company to fulfill this desired role.
sz: Is there any typical advice you give to athletes looking to advance their commercial marketability?
Brittany Gilman: Hiring a publicist and marketing agent is the first step. It is also crucial to get involved in the community, attend events, maintain a positive image, and ultimately perform on and off the field.
sz: What are strong athletic and personality criteria companies look for when they seek out an athlete to market a product?
Brittany Gilman: Each company is unique in terms of the criteria they seek in an athlete. Additionally, it depends on the target market. In general, leadership, humor, charisma, and confidence are all common characteristics companies look for in a potential athlete.
sz: In what ways does your background as an athlete and strength and conditioning business influence your understanding of the needs of your clients?
Brittany Gilman: My background as an athlete has created who I am today and I maintain the mindset of an athlete. I understand where they are coming from, the pressures, and the lifestyle. My background as a strength coach has given me an inside perspective on the other side of athletics and enabled me to be a motivator and an influencer. This combination has given me an incredible ability to relate to and communicate with my clients.
sz: As a female in this business, what advantage do you have working within the world of professional men’s sports?
Brittany Gilman: Women think differently than men, and thus bring unique perspectives and communication. By nature, women are nurturing and caretakers. I believe this can be refreshing in an industry dominated by men.
sz: What are the most interesting elements of your day-to-day job?
Brittany Gilman: Every day brings its own events and excitement, so you never know what your day will behold.
sz: Do you have any favorite inspirational stories, tips or quotes that have guided you on your professional path?
Brittany Gilman: I always remind myself that I created my business from scratch, and that the only person that can hold me back is myself.
This interview may also be viewed on www.AccessAthletes.com
*Featured guest are not former nor current clients of Susan Zaro
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Sport Health in Action
Many thanks to Terry Holladay & Ros Fairbanks-Nideffer for lending their expertise in the tennis drills and sharing a few insights from their personal experiences of mental training from years of playing tour tennis during the Women's Peak Performance Training Clinics at Fairbanks Ranch Country Club and Lomas Santa Fe Country Club in San Diego. After the classroom training participants experimented with mental concepts in various playing scenarios. The challenge for many adult league players is finding time to make the transition in their day from work, kids, errands and little time to mentally prep for matches. The concepts are presented so each player can customize a quick shift to player mode prior to match play and include techniques and reminders to bring their focus back when it drifts off in matches. The players brought their enthusiasm to become a stronger team and benefit individually as they learned how the mind-body feedback systems work and influence their ability to perform up to their capabilities during match play.
Nancy: "I attended Susan Zaro's Sport Psychology/Peak Performance combo workshop. We learned about how our mind-body feedback systems work during competition and how to regulate with breathing and mental exercises. It is all very cutting edge and her techniques extend to everything you do in life. I thought Susan and the program were
fantastic!"
Thanks Nancy, keep improving in all areas of your game :-)..thank you ladies for your great participation...Play on.....
Nancy: "I attended Susan Zaro's Sport Psychology/Peak Performance combo workshop. We learned about how our mind-body feedback systems work during competition and how to regulate with breathing and mental exercises. It is all very cutting edge and her techniques extend to everything you do in life. I thought Susan and the program were
fantastic!"
Thanks Nancy, keep improving in all areas of your game :-)..thank you ladies for your great participation...Play on.....
Saturday, February 13, 2010
The Family Life of an Overseas Professional Basketball Player, Part 1
John Gilchrist’s overseas basketball career began in 2006, when he left the University of Maryland on the chance he would be selected in the NBA draft. When he wasn’t selected, he was offered the opportunity to play professional ball overseas. Since 2006, Gilchrist has played for several successful overseas teams. We detailed John's journey previously on this site in a three-part series. Mikaela Samuel is John Gilchrist’s partner and fiancée. She has graciously taken time to share a glimpse of the challenges, experiences, and unique dynamics that couples and/or families face when a spouse makes an income playing abroad. Her interview is the first part of a three-part interview series that will also include interviews with two spouses of pro ball players who play abroad.
sz: Mikaela, where and when did you and John meet?
ms: John and I met in high school. We met my freshman year, his sophomore year. I was a cheerleader and he played on the basketball team. We ran in the same circle of people. We started dating my sophomore year.
sz: When John left for college at the University of Maryland where were you in school?
ms: When John went away to school, he was a year older than me. I was still in Virginia Beach—where I am now, and then the next year I attended Virginia Tech. So we kind of broke up then and we were doing two different things with our lives being in different places.
sz: Did you stay in touch?
ms: We stayed in touch. We were always very good friends, but it was a bit distant. John was very busy with basketball. He takes it very seriously, which I have always admired. He has such a great work ethic. I never wanted to be a distraction for him. It was a good time for us to focus on ourselves.
sz: The time to grow as individuals?
ms: Grow — exactly.
sz: When did you get back together?
ms: He turned professional my junior year of college and we kept in touch when he was at Maryland. When he played for Maryland, they played Virginia Tech a few times. We would always see each other at the games if we didn’t cross paths at home. The next year he left school and turned pro. It was just basketball for him and no longer school and basketball. It gave him time to reflect. We kept in touch a lot more through e-mail while he was away in Israel. In the summer he was getting ready to leave to return to Israel, I was at college. I was very involved in college and pretty much stayed at school throughout the year. I didn’t return home that much, but John asked me to come home because he wanted to talk [and] catch up because it had been a while. I decided to make the 5-hour drive home to Virginia Beach for the day. We spent time catching up and went out on a date and from there we kept in touch constantly. We got back together in the summer before my senior year of college.
sz: Was it just one of those things where you’re always in touch but nothing happens until there’s a certain maturity and readiness?
ms: Definitely, it kind of happened that way which was the beauty of it all, because sometimes you think when something ends, you think that’s it. But we always kept in touch and with maturity on both ends, it just fell into place.
sz: That’s a neat story. What is your profession?
ms: I am a special education high school teacher. I teach algebra and geometry. It’s very interesting, never a dull moment.
sz: How long have you been a teacher?
ms: This is my first year as a full time teacher.
sz: You returned to graduate school for a teaching degree?
ms: Yes, I’m still working on my Master’s Degree. I graduated from Virginia Tech in 2007 and the following year I went and lived with John in Israel for half of 2008. When I went over there, I began my master’s program online.
sz: The convenience of technology…
ms: It definitely made it a lot more convenient. I was able to do something for myself while I was living in Israel, especially with not having any friends or family—my class work made it a lot easier to adjust to living abroad.
sz: Do the overseas leagues provide partners of players with support groups or involve family members in charity work through the team?
ms: No, not that I am aware of.
sz: Were you introduced to the other players spouses/significant others?
ms: Most of the players and their partners are from Israel. Although one couple was from Serbia. The player’s wife and I were the only two foreigners, so we hung out together which helped. We would attend the games together, or while the guys were involved in basketball practice, we would go and work out at the gym. It made it easier to just have someone to talk to, even though there was a language barrier. But it worked out because she was able to improve her English by talking to me everyday. With time, it was easier to communicate with each other. But there weren’t any groups or activities through the organization for the wives and girlfriends. I think the experience would be a lot easier if there were things set in place by the organization. Both the players and their families don’t know what to expect when they go to a foreign country, unless you are fortunate enough to cross paths with someone who happened to go to that country and team before. John’s perspective as a player is a lot different from my perspective because he’s there playing and he automatically has a connection through his job with the team.
sz: NBA teams have associations with charities and organizations which connect players and their family to the community. Are there any programs in place through the teams overseas?
ms: I know that the overseas teams do have connections with local charities and the players do put on basketball clinics and make presentations on behalf of the teams. But there wasn’t anything that I was aware of for the family members to take part in.
sz: Do the organizations offer any activities or services for the wives and girlfriends?
ms: Not particularly. From my experience, they are very, very nice. I know that’s not how it is everywhere, but the organizations do ask players about their family status. They did help here and there by letting me use the gym or recreation facilities. Once I had even gotten sick, and the team was able to let me see the team doctor.
sz: Now that you are back in the United States and working, how does your profession as a teacher coordinate with John’s off-season schedule?
ms: Our vacations synchronize. John usually returns to the United States around late May, early June, depending on how successful his team is in the playoffs. The school year for me ends in June. It works out really well because we usually spend most of the summer together, except when John goes to play in tournaments or plays in a summer league.
sz: How often do you visit John when he’s abroad now that you are working in the United States?
ms: During the season, I usually see him around Christmas. Sometimes, he can come home or if he can’t return home I will go and visit him. When I was in college, I would go around Thanksgiving because I had more time off.
sz: Do you have two weeks vacation at Christmas?
ms: We do have about two weeks. I end up taking a few personal days when I visit him. When he is in a country as far away as Australia, it takes a whole day of travel. To go for one week would be just arriving and then turning back around.
sz: Pretty exhausting. In a way though, the arrangement appears to be working for you because it gives you time to focus on getting through the school year and gives him time to focus on basketball.
ms: Yes, we know we are working hard to secure our futures, and build our lives together. We are getting married this summer, June 2010. This year is a big year for us to get our careers together and on track.
sz: Do you think things will change after you are married?
ms: I think they may change a little bit. I don’t think it will change right away. To everyone on the outside, it seems a little crazy. It’s hard for people to understand [that] we don’t spend the whole year together. There are two types of reactions from colleagues and friends. Those who say, “I don’t know how you do it. I couldn’t be alone.” But I don’t feel alone. We are in contact all the time. Other people say, “that’s so cool and glamorous.”
sz: How do you stay in contact?
ms: It is really convenient with all the technology today. We talk on Skype, text, instant message, you name it… I talk with him at least three or four times a day.
sz: A few years ago you couldn’t do that. Calling costs were prohibitive.
ms: It’s really cool. With Skype, I can call him computer to computer. We can web and video chat and everything is free!
sz: When I was preparing for this interview, I was thinking your relationship has some similarities of a military relationship, except he’s not being shot at and you know where he is on a daily basis and what he’s doing. But he’s away for extended periods of time and you pretty much only see him on vacations. How would you describe it?
ms: You know we often say that it is similar to a military lifestyle. It’s funny because I identify a lot with that idea. I have a lot of co-workers who have military spouses or boyfriends and we identify with the same things. We get up at odd hours to talk on the computer because of the time difference. Or we count down the days when we will see them again. Where I live in Virginia Beach it’s a huge military area. The majority of our area is run by the military. There are three major bases here. Being separated for lengthy periods of time is actually pretty normal around here.
sz: Even NBA players or minor leaguers in the U.S. are away for weeks at a time because of a teams travel schedule. Although, they are never all that far from home...
ms: John always says that too. Even if he were playing in the states, he’s wouldn’t be here. When he was participating in his first season in the “D-League” (National Basketball Development League), I went to Los Angeles with him and he was there playing for The Defenders, but he wasn’t around a lot because he was working. It doesn’t seem odd for us to be separated during the year.
sz: I would imagine the biggest issue that would detract from this lifestyle arrangement would be if you had children. Am I right?
ms: Exactly. We joke about it all the time. But we create our own holidays and birthdays because we usually miss those dates. For his birthday one year, he was in Italy playing for a Euroleague team and I ended up having a birthday cake put in his room. He had been in the states a few days before, but he was away for his actual birthday. These are the ways we roll with the punches.
sz: The soft touches really create an impression and keep you connected.
ms: Those are things we try to do for each other. Spending time apart makes us stronger as a couple because when we are together we appreciate each other and our time together. We don’t live by the norms of many people, but we create our own memories, through the soft touches. We always say in twenty years, we will look back on this time and will have so many shared memories.
sz: Do the overseas league organizations provide a travel allowance for families to come and visit?
ms: It depends. Some organizations include that stipulation in the contract; other organizations don’t. The player may need to have this negotiated as part of the contract. Some players take their whole family with them every year.
sz: When a player’s child is school age, parents then need to decide whether to place their child in a private or public school. How are those details worked out?
ms: I think it depends on what area a player is living in. Usually if a player is living in a major city, there is an American school around where classes are taught in English. Sometimes parents will send their child to a public school and the child learns to speak the language. Usually kids have an easier time adapting to the move because they are so young. I don’t know if any of John’s teammates have children of high school age.
sz: Do the league organizations help players find housing while they are living in the country? Do they provide housing for the players and their families as part of the contract?
ms: They definitely help with that. The cost of rent may come out of a player’s salary. It depends on the agreement within the contract. But the organizations do help find housing for the players. When a player brings their family and has two or three children, they may need to rent a house. The team provides standard accommodations for the players. The same applies to transportation.
sz: Does John live in an apartment?
ms: Yes, he lives in an apartment. He lives alone, no roommates. Although, some players prefer roommates and they try to live closer to other Americans, so they have a support system nearby.
sz: I imagine it can become lonely every once in awhile and there would be a desire to spend time with someone who understands what you are missing culturally.
ms: Definitely. We are from Virginia and we’ll meet players from Texas, Georgia, California, or Missouri, and its funny how much these guys have in common because they are out of the country. There are only two or three Americans per team.
sz: What are some challenging issues with John playing overseas, beyond the obvious, distance?
ms: Besides distance—which is working out okay for us—there are still days where I wish I could be at his games. If he’s had a bad day or just to be there to support him. We bounce ideas off of each other and there are days it’s hard not being able to be there for him.
sz: Being there in person having that one-on-one?
ms: Exactly, and sometimes, I become sad thinking he goes to play his games and no one is there for him in the stands. Sometimes that bothers me.
sz: I imagine planning your June 2010 wedding is a challenge. How are you working that out?
MS: It’s difficult sometimes because he’s not here. We decided to keep it small because we don’t know what his playing schedule is going to be. I guess that would be another challenge, scheduling. We have to keep an open schedule because if some great opportunity arises, I want him to be able to take it. I support him 100% because his dream is my dream. I want him to do well and succeed. When he is home, he could be called to tryout for a team or play in a tournament or league.
sz: Is the notice that quick? Do those opportunities and choices arise that quickly, out of the blue?
ms: They can. Sometimes he may get a bit of pre-warning. But like this year, his agent contacted him about the Australian team, he tried out, and it was a matter of a few days before he left and he’s been away since then…
sz: So it seems, another challenge is the possibility of sudden change?
ms: Right, we just rearrange things. Last year with his grandmother being ill, he chose to remain at home. It was different for us because he was home for most of the year. Then, the opportunity to go to Australia and play popped up and it happened quickly. I was happy for him, but we had to rearrange our lives a bit.
sz: What are the advantages and rewards for you being the future wife of a professional athlete who primarily works overseas?
ms: I would say just based on his job he’s able to travel and see and experience different things. Whether or not I am there to experience them with him, he comes back and shares it with me. We both have a global view, which is important. Not everyone has the opportunity, not even my friends of military spouses. They don’t often get to visit the places and share the experiences. Because of military confidentiality and security, my friends may not even know what their spouse is doing. Seeing John happy and doing what he loves makes me happy!
sz: Did you grow up playing a sport? It sounds like you participated as a cheerleader which incorporates gymnastics and dance. I think cheerleading is a potentially dangerous sport.
ms: Yes, it is pretty dangerous. I’ve participated in cheering and dance. I danced from when I was two years old until I completed high school. I began cheering in elementary school and throughout high school. Cheering is pretty dangerous—I got a concussion from cheering in the ninth grade.
sz: That doesn’t surprise me… But I’m surprised we don’t hear about that happening more often.
ms: Cheering is one of those sports that you have to be committed to. No one is going to volunteer to do that if they aren’t committed to it. It’s a team sport. Everyone depends on the next person. There’s no individuality in it whatsoever. If one person falls or one person doesn’t stick it, everything fails.
sz: It’s balance and timing. If one member throws off the synchronicity, you need a back up plan.
ms: Exactly. You learn lots of life lessons from cheering. You have to know who’s on your team and what differences you may have. You have to come together. By the end of every season, all team members are inseparable because you need to be that way.
sz: Do you feel your athletic experience helps you understand John’s career better?
ms: I understand the dedication it takes in being an athlete. Those days when he is home and working out, which is almost everyday, he’ll go and spend five or six hours at the gym shooting and lifting as part of his training. I go with him to work out, or sometimes in the backyard, gym or recreation center, I’ll pass him the ball maybe 200 times while he practices. I do it because I understand the dedication it takes. At times, I am able to say, “Hey when you made those five in a row, you kind of did this with your wrist.” I may not know the technical term, but being a former athlete, I enjoy doing those things because we can do them together. It’s the little things we do together while he is here. I understand why he’s doing it.
sz: Will you continue to work after your marriage in June?
MS: I want to continue to work after we are married. Once we decide to live in the same place and he’s still playing, I would still like to work. As we were discussing earlier, there aren’t any support systems that are set up right now for me to find a job, or other services while in a foreign country.
sz: What are some of the support services you think would be helpful for families who have family members playing abroad?
ms: Educating families as to what to expect of the lifestyle comes to mind. Most people probably don’t know that the playing jobs change every year or couple of years. Families pick up and move every couple of years to another country. Then they start all over again. Having access to resources or a point of contact, so we can share information would be helpful. Although I do stay in touch with women I’ve met over the past few years through Facebook. When the players play in different countries, they may get a point of contact—maybe a veteran on the team who knows his way around town and can tell John (or other players) things about the city. What to expect in the weather, what parts of town to avoid, where to shop, etc. It would be helpful if the families had this type of resource. Other useful information would include suggestions such as recommended schools, best places to shop, etc.
sz: What issues do you feel would be helpful for families that spend time apart to be aware of?
ms: A lot of families and friends do not understand how the overseas system works. The change and potential instability of professional sports as a whole is very odd. There are many trials and tribulations. Sometimes a player receives a one or two-year contract and situations can change. The team may go in a different direction and release a player or the player may go to another team. A player may be playing in a different country each year. For a lot of families it’s overwhelming, if you don’t really understand how it all works. Some people look at the life and think it’s really cool, and awesome, other people need more stability.
sz: Does it create a need to be more financially conservative? Does the team provide disability insurance?
ms: A lot of things overseas are not covered the way they are here. It’s different within each country. A player has medical/dental coverage through the team or they see the team physician, but it does tend to make you more financially conservative because you don’t know year to year how things will work out.
sz: So no pension fund?
ms: Players arrange that on their own or their agent helps set this up, but the team or organization doesn’t provide it. Another challenge is the lack of stability. If something happens and a player is out of a job, you can weather the storm if you’ve been financially conservative. But it’s different from living and working in the United States. If a player is fired from a team for some reason that doesn’t seem fair, in the United States there are more resources to draw from. Every country has different rules.
sz: Is there anything else you’d like to add? You’ve been incredibly helpful and generous with your time and insights. What’s your last piece of advice you would like to give to families of players who play overseas?
ms: What works for John and I is that we share a really strong support system. We also have time apart which makes our relationship stronger. There are ups and downs, as in every relationship. There are moments when things cave in and we pick each other up and deal with it. It’s not the end of the world and something will come along that will be better. You can’t be scared. It’s what we are doing now as we work towards our future. We have goals for ourselves and our relationship—it’s just all part of the journey!
sz: Mikaela, thank you for your time. It’s seems you and John have created a great relationship, and we hope others can draw from your experiences to help better their own relationships and situations.
This is article is part 1 of a 3 part series. This article can also be seen on www.accessathletes.com
*Featured guests are not former nor current clients of Susan Zaro
sz: Mikaela, where and when did you and John meet?
ms: John and I met in high school. We met my freshman year, his sophomore year. I was a cheerleader and he played on the basketball team. We ran in the same circle of people. We started dating my sophomore year.
sz: When John left for college at the University of Maryland where were you in school?
ms: When John went away to school, he was a year older than me. I was still in Virginia Beach—where I am now, and then the next year I attended Virginia Tech. So we kind of broke up then and we were doing two different things with our lives being in different places.
sz: Did you stay in touch?
ms: We stayed in touch. We were always very good friends, but it was a bit distant. John was very busy with basketball. He takes it very seriously, which I have always admired. He has such a great work ethic. I never wanted to be a distraction for him. It was a good time for us to focus on ourselves.
sz: The time to grow as individuals?
ms: Grow — exactly.
sz: When did you get back together?
ms: He turned professional my junior year of college and we kept in touch when he was at Maryland. When he played for Maryland, they played Virginia Tech a few times. We would always see each other at the games if we didn’t cross paths at home. The next year he left school and turned pro. It was just basketball for him and no longer school and basketball. It gave him time to reflect. We kept in touch a lot more through e-mail while he was away in Israel. In the summer he was getting ready to leave to return to Israel, I was at college. I was very involved in college and pretty much stayed at school throughout the year. I didn’t return home that much, but John asked me to come home because he wanted to talk [and] catch up because it had been a while. I decided to make the 5-hour drive home to Virginia Beach for the day. We spent time catching up and went out on a date and from there we kept in touch constantly. We got back together in the summer before my senior year of college.
sz: Was it just one of those things where you’re always in touch but nothing happens until there’s a certain maturity and readiness?
ms: Definitely, it kind of happened that way which was the beauty of it all, because sometimes you think when something ends, you think that’s it. But we always kept in touch and with maturity on both ends, it just fell into place.
sz: That’s a neat story. What is your profession?
ms: I am a special education high school teacher. I teach algebra and geometry. It’s very interesting, never a dull moment.
sz: How long have you been a teacher?
ms: This is my first year as a full time teacher.
sz: You returned to graduate school for a teaching degree?
ms: Yes, I’m still working on my Master’s Degree. I graduated from Virginia Tech in 2007 and the following year I went and lived with John in Israel for half of 2008. When I went over there, I began my master’s program online.
sz: The convenience of technology…
ms: It definitely made it a lot more convenient. I was able to do something for myself while I was living in Israel, especially with not having any friends or family—my class work made it a lot easier to adjust to living abroad.
sz: Do the overseas leagues provide partners of players with support groups or involve family members in charity work through the team?
ms: No, not that I am aware of.
sz: Were you introduced to the other players spouses/significant others?
ms: Most of the players and their partners are from Israel. Although one couple was from Serbia. The player’s wife and I were the only two foreigners, so we hung out together which helped. We would attend the games together, or while the guys were involved in basketball practice, we would go and work out at the gym. It made it easier to just have someone to talk to, even though there was a language barrier. But it worked out because she was able to improve her English by talking to me everyday. With time, it was easier to communicate with each other. But there weren’t any groups or activities through the organization for the wives and girlfriends. I think the experience would be a lot easier if there were things set in place by the organization. Both the players and their families don’t know what to expect when they go to a foreign country, unless you are fortunate enough to cross paths with someone who happened to go to that country and team before. John’s perspective as a player is a lot different from my perspective because he’s there playing and he automatically has a connection through his job with the team.
sz: NBA teams have associations with charities and organizations which connect players and their family to the community. Are there any programs in place through the teams overseas?
ms: I know that the overseas teams do have connections with local charities and the players do put on basketball clinics and make presentations on behalf of the teams. But there wasn’t anything that I was aware of for the family members to take part in.
sz: Do the organizations offer any activities or services for the wives and girlfriends?
ms: Not particularly. From my experience, they are very, very nice. I know that’s not how it is everywhere, but the organizations do ask players about their family status. They did help here and there by letting me use the gym or recreation facilities. Once I had even gotten sick, and the team was able to let me see the team doctor.
sz: Now that you are back in the United States and working, how does your profession as a teacher coordinate with John’s off-season schedule?
ms: Our vacations synchronize. John usually returns to the United States around late May, early June, depending on how successful his team is in the playoffs. The school year for me ends in June. It works out really well because we usually spend most of the summer together, except when John goes to play in tournaments or plays in a summer league.
sz: How often do you visit John when he’s abroad now that you are working in the United States?
ms: During the season, I usually see him around Christmas. Sometimes, he can come home or if he can’t return home I will go and visit him. When I was in college, I would go around Thanksgiving because I had more time off.
sz: Do you have two weeks vacation at Christmas?
ms: We do have about two weeks. I end up taking a few personal days when I visit him. When he is in a country as far away as Australia, it takes a whole day of travel. To go for one week would be just arriving and then turning back around.
sz: Pretty exhausting. In a way though, the arrangement appears to be working for you because it gives you time to focus on getting through the school year and gives him time to focus on basketball.
ms: Yes, we know we are working hard to secure our futures, and build our lives together. We are getting married this summer, June 2010. This year is a big year for us to get our careers together and on track.
sz: Do you think things will change after you are married?
ms: I think they may change a little bit. I don’t think it will change right away. To everyone on the outside, it seems a little crazy. It’s hard for people to understand [that] we don’t spend the whole year together. There are two types of reactions from colleagues and friends. Those who say, “I don’t know how you do it. I couldn’t be alone.” But I don’t feel alone. We are in contact all the time. Other people say, “that’s so cool and glamorous.”
sz: How do you stay in contact?
ms: It is really convenient with all the technology today. We talk on Skype, text, instant message, you name it… I talk with him at least three or four times a day.
sz: A few years ago you couldn’t do that. Calling costs were prohibitive.
ms: It’s really cool. With Skype, I can call him computer to computer. We can web and video chat and everything is free!
sz: When I was preparing for this interview, I was thinking your relationship has some similarities of a military relationship, except he’s not being shot at and you know where he is on a daily basis and what he’s doing. But he’s away for extended periods of time and you pretty much only see him on vacations. How would you describe it?
ms: You know we often say that it is similar to a military lifestyle. It’s funny because I identify a lot with that idea. I have a lot of co-workers who have military spouses or boyfriends and we identify with the same things. We get up at odd hours to talk on the computer because of the time difference. Or we count down the days when we will see them again. Where I live in Virginia Beach it’s a huge military area. The majority of our area is run by the military. There are three major bases here. Being separated for lengthy periods of time is actually pretty normal around here.
sz: Even NBA players or minor leaguers in the U.S. are away for weeks at a time because of a teams travel schedule. Although, they are never all that far from home...
ms: John always says that too. Even if he were playing in the states, he’s wouldn’t be here. When he was participating in his first season in the “D-League” (National Basketball Development League), I went to Los Angeles with him and he was there playing for The Defenders, but he wasn’t around a lot because he was working. It doesn’t seem odd for us to be separated during the year.
sz: I would imagine the biggest issue that would detract from this lifestyle arrangement would be if you had children. Am I right?
ms: Exactly. We joke about it all the time. But we create our own holidays and birthdays because we usually miss those dates. For his birthday one year, he was in Italy playing for a Euroleague team and I ended up having a birthday cake put in his room. He had been in the states a few days before, but he was away for his actual birthday. These are the ways we roll with the punches.
sz: The soft touches really create an impression and keep you connected.
ms: Those are things we try to do for each other. Spending time apart makes us stronger as a couple because when we are together we appreciate each other and our time together. We don’t live by the norms of many people, but we create our own memories, through the soft touches. We always say in twenty years, we will look back on this time and will have so many shared memories.
sz: Do the overseas league organizations provide a travel allowance for families to come and visit?
ms: It depends. Some organizations include that stipulation in the contract; other organizations don’t. The player may need to have this negotiated as part of the contract. Some players take their whole family with them every year.
sz: When a player’s child is school age, parents then need to decide whether to place their child in a private or public school. How are those details worked out?
ms: I think it depends on what area a player is living in. Usually if a player is living in a major city, there is an American school around where classes are taught in English. Sometimes parents will send their child to a public school and the child learns to speak the language. Usually kids have an easier time adapting to the move because they are so young. I don’t know if any of John’s teammates have children of high school age.
sz: Do the league organizations help players find housing while they are living in the country? Do they provide housing for the players and their families as part of the contract?
ms: They definitely help with that. The cost of rent may come out of a player’s salary. It depends on the agreement within the contract. But the organizations do help find housing for the players. When a player brings their family and has two or three children, they may need to rent a house. The team provides standard accommodations for the players. The same applies to transportation.
sz: Does John live in an apartment?
ms: Yes, he lives in an apartment. He lives alone, no roommates. Although, some players prefer roommates and they try to live closer to other Americans, so they have a support system nearby.
sz: I imagine it can become lonely every once in awhile and there would be a desire to spend time with someone who understands what you are missing culturally.
ms: Definitely. We are from Virginia and we’ll meet players from Texas, Georgia, California, or Missouri, and its funny how much these guys have in common because they are out of the country. There are only two or three Americans per team.
sz: What are some challenging issues with John playing overseas, beyond the obvious, distance?
ms: Besides distance—which is working out okay for us—there are still days where I wish I could be at his games. If he’s had a bad day or just to be there to support him. We bounce ideas off of each other and there are days it’s hard not being able to be there for him.
sz: Being there in person having that one-on-one?
ms: Exactly, and sometimes, I become sad thinking he goes to play his games and no one is there for him in the stands. Sometimes that bothers me.
sz: I imagine planning your June 2010 wedding is a challenge. How are you working that out?
MS: It’s difficult sometimes because he’s not here. We decided to keep it small because we don’t know what his playing schedule is going to be. I guess that would be another challenge, scheduling. We have to keep an open schedule because if some great opportunity arises, I want him to be able to take it. I support him 100% because his dream is my dream. I want him to do well and succeed. When he is home, he could be called to tryout for a team or play in a tournament or league.
sz: Is the notice that quick? Do those opportunities and choices arise that quickly, out of the blue?
ms: They can. Sometimes he may get a bit of pre-warning. But like this year, his agent contacted him about the Australian team, he tried out, and it was a matter of a few days before he left and he’s been away since then…
sz: So it seems, another challenge is the possibility of sudden change?
ms: Right, we just rearrange things. Last year with his grandmother being ill, he chose to remain at home. It was different for us because he was home for most of the year. Then, the opportunity to go to Australia and play popped up and it happened quickly. I was happy for him, but we had to rearrange our lives a bit.
sz: What are the advantages and rewards for you being the future wife of a professional athlete who primarily works overseas?
ms: I would say just based on his job he’s able to travel and see and experience different things. Whether or not I am there to experience them with him, he comes back and shares it with me. We both have a global view, which is important. Not everyone has the opportunity, not even my friends of military spouses. They don’t often get to visit the places and share the experiences. Because of military confidentiality and security, my friends may not even know what their spouse is doing. Seeing John happy and doing what he loves makes me happy!
sz: Did you grow up playing a sport? It sounds like you participated as a cheerleader which incorporates gymnastics and dance. I think cheerleading is a potentially dangerous sport.
ms: Yes, it is pretty dangerous. I’ve participated in cheering and dance. I danced from when I was two years old until I completed high school. I began cheering in elementary school and throughout high school. Cheering is pretty dangerous—I got a concussion from cheering in the ninth grade.
sz: That doesn’t surprise me… But I’m surprised we don’t hear about that happening more often.
ms: Cheering is one of those sports that you have to be committed to. No one is going to volunteer to do that if they aren’t committed to it. It’s a team sport. Everyone depends on the next person. There’s no individuality in it whatsoever. If one person falls or one person doesn’t stick it, everything fails.
sz: It’s balance and timing. If one member throws off the synchronicity, you need a back up plan.
ms: Exactly. You learn lots of life lessons from cheering. You have to know who’s on your team and what differences you may have. You have to come together. By the end of every season, all team members are inseparable because you need to be that way.
sz: Do you feel your athletic experience helps you understand John’s career better?
ms: I understand the dedication it takes in being an athlete. Those days when he is home and working out, which is almost everyday, he’ll go and spend five or six hours at the gym shooting and lifting as part of his training. I go with him to work out, or sometimes in the backyard, gym or recreation center, I’ll pass him the ball maybe 200 times while he practices. I do it because I understand the dedication it takes. At times, I am able to say, “Hey when you made those five in a row, you kind of did this with your wrist.” I may not know the technical term, but being a former athlete, I enjoy doing those things because we can do them together. It’s the little things we do together while he is here. I understand why he’s doing it.
sz: Will you continue to work after your marriage in June?
MS: I want to continue to work after we are married. Once we decide to live in the same place and he’s still playing, I would still like to work. As we were discussing earlier, there aren’t any support systems that are set up right now for me to find a job, or other services while in a foreign country.
sz: What are some of the support services you think would be helpful for families who have family members playing abroad?
ms: Educating families as to what to expect of the lifestyle comes to mind. Most people probably don’t know that the playing jobs change every year or couple of years. Families pick up and move every couple of years to another country. Then they start all over again. Having access to resources or a point of contact, so we can share information would be helpful. Although I do stay in touch with women I’ve met over the past few years through Facebook. When the players play in different countries, they may get a point of contact—maybe a veteran on the team who knows his way around town and can tell John (or other players) things about the city. What to expect in the weather, what parts of town to avoid, where to shop, etc. It would be helpful if the families had this type of resource. Other useful information would include suggestions such as recommended schools, best places to shop, etc.
sz: What issues do you feel would be helpful for families that spend time apart to be aware of?
ms: A lot of families and friends do not understand how the overseas system works. The change and potential instability of professional sports as a whole is very odd. There are many trials and tribulations. Sometimes a player receives a one or two-year contract and situations can change. The team may go in a different direction and release a player or the player may go to another team. A player may be playing in a different country each year. For a lot of families it’s overwhelming, if you don’t really understand how it all works. Some people look at the life and think it’s really cool, and awesome, other people need more stability.
sz: Does it create a need to be more financially conservative? Does the team provide disability insurance?
ms: A lot of things overseas are not covered the way they are here. It’s different within each country. A player has medical/dental coverage through the team or they see the team physician, but it does tend to make you more financially conservative because you don’t know year to year how things will work out.
sz: So no pension fund?
ms: Players arrange that on their own or their agent helps set this up, but the team or organization doesn’t provide it. Another challenge is the lack of stability. If something happens and a player is out of a job, you can weather the storm if you’ve been financially conservative. But it’s different from living and working in the United States. If a player is fired from a team for some reason that doesn’t seem fair, in the United States there are more resources to draw from. Every country has different rules.
sz: Is there anything else you’d like to add? You’ve been incredibly helpful and generous with your time and insights. What’s your last piece of advice you would like to give to families of players who play overseas?
ms: What works for John and I is that we share a really strong support system. We also have time apart which makes our relationship stronger. There are ups and downs, as in every relationship. There are moments when things cave in and we pick each other up and deal with it. It’s not the end of the world and something will come along that will be better. You can’t be scared. It’s what we are doing now as we work towards our future. We have goals for ourselves and our relationship—it’s just all part of the journey!
sz: Mikaela, thank you for your time. It’s seems you and John have created a great relationship, and we hope others can draw from your experiences to help better their own relationships and situations.
This is article is part 1 of a 3 part series. This article can also be seen on www.accessathletes.com
*Featured guests are not former nor current clients of Susan Zaro
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Whitney Engen - Recipient of the 2009- 2010 Honda Sports Award
Whitney Engen, a senior at the University of North Carolina completed her brilliant college soccer career last month when the Tar Heels defeated the Stanford Cardinals to win their 3rd National Championship in the last four years. Engen a resident of Rolling Hills Estates, CA. played center back for the team. She made the transition to defense after starting at forward her first two years at North Carolina, finishing those two seasons as North Carolina’s third-leading scorer. Engen was named this years NCAA Women’s College Cup MVP on defense. She was named Atlantic Coast conference Defensive Player of the Year. She is a 2009 first – team NSCAA and Soccer America All-America and has won the 2009/2010 Honda Sports Award in soccer, designating her as the nations top collegiate female athlete in the sport. The Honda Sports Award is based on the results of national balloting among 1,000 NCAA member schools as part of the Collegiate Women Sports Award program. The 2010 Women’s Professional Soccer draft will be held on Jan. 15th and Engen is slated at the almost unanimous choice as top defender.
I spoke with Engen this week and asked her to reflect on her path to stardom as a Tar Heel and her thoughts about her future as a professional player.
sz: Whitney congratulations on your stellar play and participation to help the University of North Carolina – Tar Heels bring home another NCAA Soccer Championship. What are some of the perks/opportunities that receiving the 2009 Honda Sports Award in soccer has or can bring to your life?
Thank you. It is a great honor for me to have received the Honda Sports Award. I did not imagine myself winning it, especially being in contention with the players that I was. I think the perks for me of winning it are that I am able to bring a little more notoriety to my name as I try to push forward into a professional career. I know that this award is not going to follow me far into a professional career but it may help me to get a little higher or farther as I first start. This boost may come in the form of an earlier draft choice or maybe an endorsement contract, but I cannot know for sure.
sz: What are some major developments you’ve made as a player mentally and physically during the 4 years you’ve played in this program which have helped you achieve your level of consistency and success on the playing field?
Playing for Anson (Anson Dorrance is the head coach of the women's soccer program at the University of North Carolina. He has one of the most successful coaching records in the history of athletics), was the best decision I ever made for both my soccer career and the development of myself personally. He encouraged us to mature in all areas of our lives both on and off the field.
Physically, Anson is always promoting a “never ending ascension” in which he believes that we only get fitter as we age. All of our scores in terms of fitness, speed, agility, vertical jump, and weight lifting are scored three times through out a school year. Players are always encouraged to try to top their past score and matching it is not enough. I think that his unwillingness to accept mediocrity is what makes the program so successful. I feel that I developed physically and mentally in ways that I had never deemed possible. I did not think it was possible to “get faster” but somehow I could always manage to make my speed score higher. The same applies for my development mentally. Coming in to college I was a very insecure player but I think after gaining Anson’s acceptance for four years I am now able to believe in myself in ways I had not done before. I think this is because he holds us to such a high standard that when a player gets approval from him their confidence can only go up.
sz: In the Tar Heels athletic profile you mention your parents twice, once as “the people with the greatest influence on my athletic career” and again under “I can’t live without.” Over the years in what ways have your parents supported and been an important link in the chain of your success?
My parents are awesome and I know I would not be where I am today without them. My parents have done so much for me both with my career and just being the most stable support system a kid could ask for. My mom and dad were always very understanding that soccer was MY hobby and even when I was having great success at it, they only encouraged me to keep going if I was enjoying it. They never pushed me to do things I was not interested in doing and they pretty much left the decisions I made up to me. Now that is not to say that they did not give me guidance, because they definitely did a lot of that. But overall they were and still are so supportive of my career choices and only offer advice with out stipulations.
sz: There are many “pushy, crazy parents” in the youth sports scene that at times have unfortunately driven their kids out of sports. In what ways did your parents encourage your talent yet keep their boundaries to nurture your development as a player?
I think that the way that they kept me interested is that they always gave me the opportunity to quit. This is the mentality that they kept with me since I was a very young child, which I really appreciate. This goes as far back to when I was deciding to play soccer or not at the age of 7. I remember my dad signing me up for AYSO and telling me I was going to play soccer. Well at the age of 5 I had decided that I wanted to be the best gymnast in the world and soccer was going to interfere with this life goal. I protested every practice and every game. When the time came to sign up for soccer again, my dad did so and I was outraged. Interestingly enough during my second year of AYSO, the gymnastics gym that I went to informed me that a 5 foot 6 year old did not have that much potential as a world renown gymnast. So when it came time to sign up for AYSO a third time my dad came to me and asked, “Do you want to play soccer? After protesting so vehemently for the past two years I remember feeling stupid with my answer of yes but the moral of the story is that they gave me the opportunity to stop. This continued all throughout my soccer career as I cannot remember the number of times I complained to my mom or dad about soccer and they informed me that I was not chained to the field and that once my commitments were fulfilled I could stop.
sz: All the articles and interviews I’ve read leave a feeling that there is a tremendous amount of respect amongst players on the teams you’ve played on at UNC. Is this quality of respect taught as part of the program development of players or are the players recruited because of this ability to understand how this quality bonds a team?
I think that the respect is mostly gained and developed once players enter UNC. Almost every player from UNC is the best player wherever they come from. What makes UNC special is that we all go out to the field each and every day and try to push each other to be better. I believe that when you compete as hard as we do day in and day out it is difficult to not gain respect for your fellow teammates.
sz: Three national soccer championships in the past 4 years – what are some of the rewarding elements of playing in such a high caliber program?
People look at me like I am an idiot when I tell them this but this is the honest truth: After my four years at Carolina the things that I am going to remember the most are the players and not the Championships. For me making it to the National Championship means that I get to play one more game with my teammates. Playing at UNC has been the best experience of my life so far and I think that getting the opportunity to play as many games as possible in a season is extremely rewarding. My teammates, and especially my class, are like my sisters and playing soccer with them has been a real joy for me.
sz: After winning the national championship several times, did you encounter any reduction in motivation, and if so how did you renew your desire to stay hungry to win? Does the coach address this issue to the team?
I do not think that I ever encountered a reduction in motivation because each one of us is constantly trying to be the best, which pushes our team to achieve great things. I think that one of the coolest but hardest things about playing for Carolina is that we have a history that is filled with championships. Our team begins every season with the goal of winning a National Championship and anything less is failure. This is the case for the off-season as well. After every National Championship that we have won we have had a meeting with Anson no more than two days after, outlining what we need to start doing to prepare for next year. Plus, if we are not doing well we hear about it from the Alumni which is never fun.
sz: In each of the past six semesters you’ve made the dean’s list and maintained a 3.6 grade point average. Many players find juggling playing D-1 at a top ranked school and academics a challenging task. Was it a challenge for you and how did you learn to manage your time so well?
I would be lying if I said it was easy but most things in life aren’t. I think that balancing soccer and school really comes down to time management but it not something that every person can do. I often draw parallels for people to show that there are many other students in college that are balancing as much, if not more than me. I look at the amount of work that girls in sororities put in and I am thankful that when I leave the field my work is done. I think that in today’s world a lot of students are balancing a lot of things and that time management is the key to figuring it all out.
sz: You are preparing to enter the Women’s Professional Soccer League Draft, transitioning from collegiate to professional competition is typically a big shift. What do you anticipate as the major challenges for you at this next level, mentally, physically, and socially through team dynamics?
I know that I am going to be matched up with players of a higher caliber on a more consistent basis and that teams are going to be harder but overall I think that playing at Carolina has prepared me for any type of environment. I think major challenges may entail the fact that it is a much longer season (6 months compared to 4) and that it is now my job and not my hobby.
sz: Is the potential income from playing professional women’s soccer at this time high enough to afford you a full-time career at the next level? Will you have to supplement your income from other types of work? Can players negotiate independent endorsements from companies? I know you spoke about attending law school is this something you could do between seasons?
I am not really sure how to answer this question, as I will not know what my salary looks like until my contract is negotiated. No I am waiting to go to law school when I am completely done with soccer so that I can divert all of my attention to graduating high in my class.
sz: What will you miss most about your athletic career as a Tar Heel?
I will miss the bonds and camaraderie that exists at UNC. There is a huge amount of respect among all student athletes and it is always so much fun to go to all of the different games and cheer them on. I will also miss seeing my teammates every day. When I tell you they are like my sisters I am not lying. I would honestly miss some of them on our days off and the best part of my day would be knowing that I would get to see them all at 3:00.
sz: What will you miss most about your time at UNC as a student?
Actually, since I am taking the spring semester off to play, I am going to finish up next fall so I am not quite done with school yet…
sz: What advice can you offer to aspiring D-1 soccer players who seek to replicate your success?
I think the biggest piece of advice that I can offer is that you can take your soccer career as far as you want to take it. If someone else is telling you to go practice and you do not want to do it, then maybe playing at the highest level is not for you. That is ok too though because there are several people who play soccer for the pure enjoyment of the sport. If you find yourself addicted to the game, cannot get enough of it, and want to reach the highest level, I would recommend applying yourself whole heartedly to everything that you do. Do not ever feel like you have completely learned the game as soccer is always evolving and getting better. If you push yourself and accept nothing less than your best, I think you will go far.
sz: Do you have any favorite inspirational stories, tips or quotes that have guided you?
I was having a really difficult time between my sophomore and junior year and was struggling with injury. I had remembered a poem that my dad had written me before I left for college and managed to find it in my room. Growing up my dad had always told me that I had “Earned the Right” to step onto any field. By this he meant that I had put in enough hours outside of games towards soccer, that I had earned the right to play on the field. This saying was aimed at helping me with self-confidence as I struggled with it for most of my youth career. After I found the poem I remember reading it and letting it become my mantra. It helped to get back to my roots and remember the little things that were necessary in order for me to be at my best.
Whitney thanks so much for spending the time with this interview. The Women's Professional Soccer league draft takes place Jan. 15th, I look forward to following your professional soccer career and would enjoy checking back with you to hear your thoughts as you adjust to this new level of play and lifestyle.
I spoke with Engen this week and asked her to reflect on her path to stardom as a Tar Heel and her thoughts about her future as a professional player.
sz: Whitney congratulations on your stellar play and participation to help the University of North Carolina – Tar Heels bring home another NCAA Soccer Championship. What are some of the perks/opportunities that receiving the 2009 Honda Sports Award in soccer has or can bring to your life?
Thank you. It is a great honor for me to have received the Honda Sports Award. I did not imagine myself winning it, especially being in contention with the players that I was. I think the perks for me of winning it are that I am able to bring a little more notoriety to my name as I try to push forward into a professional career. I know that this award is not going to follow me far into a professional career but it may help me to get a little higher or farther as I first start. This boost may come in the form of an earlier draft choice or maybe an endorsement contract, but I cannot know for sure.
sz: What are some major developments you’ve made as a player mentally and physically during the 4 years you’ve played in this program which have helped you achieve your level of consistency and success on the playing field?
Playing for Anson (Anson Dorrance is the head coach of the women's soccer program at the University of North Carolina. He has one of the most successful coaching records in the history of athletics), was the best decision I ever made for both my soccer career and the development of myself personally. He encouraged us to mature in all areas of our lives both on and off the field.
Physically, Anson is always promoting a “never ending ascension” in which he believes that we only get fitter as we age. All of our scores in terms of fitness, speed, agility, vertical jump, and weight lifting are scored three times through out a school year. Players are always encouraged to try to top their past score and matching it is not enough. I think that his unwillingness to accept mediocrity is what makes the program so successful. I feel that I developed physically and mentally in ways that I had never deemed possible. I did not think it was possible to “get faster” but somehow I could always manage to make my speed score higher. The same applies for my development mentally. Coming in to college I was a very insecure player but I think after gaining Anson’s acceptance for four years I am now able to believe in myself in ways I had not done before. I think this is because he holds us to such a high standard that when a player gets approval from him their confidence can only go up.
sz: In the Tar Heels athletic profile you mention your parents twice, once as “the people with the greatest influence on my athletic career” and again under “I can’t live without.” Over the years in what ways have your parents supported and been an important link in the chain of your success?
My parents are awesome and I know I would not be where I am today without them. My parents have done so much for me both with my career and just being the most stable support system a kid could ask for. My mom and dad were always very understanding that soccer was MY hobby and even when I was having great success at it, they only encouraged me to keep going if I was enjoying it. They never pushed me to do things I was not interested in doing and they pretty much left the decisions I made up to me. Now that is not to say that they did not give me guidance, because they definitely did a lot of that. But overall they were and still are so supportive of my career choices and only offer advice with out stipulations.
sz: There are many “pushy, crazy parents” in the youth sports scene that at times have unfortunately driven their kids out of sports. In what ways did your parents encourage your talent yet keep their boundaries to nurture your development as a player?
I think that the way that they kept me interested is that they always gave me the opportunity to quit. This is the mentality that they kept with me since I was a very young child, which I really appreciate. This goes as far back to when I was deciding to play soccer or not at the age of 7. I remember my dad signing me up for AYSO and telling me I was going to play soccer. Well at the age of 5 I had decided that I wanted to be the best gymnast in the world and soccer was going to interfere with this life goal. I protested every practice and every game. When the time came to sign up for soccer again, my dad did so and I was outraged. Interestingly enough during my second year of AYSO, the gymnastics gym that I went to informed me that a 5 foot 6 year old did not have that much potential as a world renown gymnast. So when it came time to sign up for AYSO a third time my dad came to me and asked, “Do you want to play soccer? After protesting so vehemently for the past two years I remember feeling stupid with my answer of yes but the moral of the story is that they gave me the opportunity to stop. This continued all throughout my soccer career as I cannot remember the number of times I complained to my mom or dad about soccer and they informed me that I was not chained to the field and that once my commitments were fulfilled I could stop.
sz: All the articles and interviews I’ve read leave a feeling that there is a tremendous amount of respect amongst players on the teams you’ve played on at UNC. Is this quality of respect taught as part of the program development of players or are the players recruited because of this ability to understand how this quality bonds a team?
I think that the respect is mostly gained and developed once players enter UNC. Almost every player from UNC is the best player wherever they come from. What makes UNC special is that we all go out to the field each and every day and try to push each other to be better. I believe that when you compete as hard as we do day in and day out it is difficult to not gain respect for your fellow teammates.
sz: Three national soccer championships in the past 4 years – what are some of the rewarding elements of playing in such a high caliber program?
People look at me like I am an idiot when I tell them this but this is the honest truth: After my four years at Carolina the things that I am going to remember the most are the players and not the Championships. For me making it to the National Championship means that I get to play one more game with my teammates. Playing at UNC has been the best experience of my life so far and I think that getting the opportunity to play as many games as possible in a season is extremely rewarding. My teammates, and especially my class, are like my sisters and playing soccer with them has been a real joy for me.
sz: After winning the national championship several times, did you encounter any reduction in motivation, and if so how did you renew your desire to stay hungry to win? Does the coach address this issue to the team?
I do not think that I ever encountered a reduction in motivation because each one of us is constantly trying to be the best, which pushes our team to achieve great things. I think that one of the coolest but hardest things about playing for Carolina is that we have a history that is filled with championships. Our team begins every season with the goal of winning a National Championship and anything less is failure. This is the case for the off-season as well. After every National Championship that we have won we have had a meeting with Anson no more than two days after, outlining what we need to start doing to prepare for next year. Plus, if we are not doing well we hear about it from the Alumni which is never fun.
sz: In each of the past six semesters you’ve made the dean’s list and maintained a 3.6 grade point average. Many players find juggling playing D-1 at a top ranked school and academics a challenging task. Was it a challenge for you and how did you learn to manage your time so well?
I would be lying if I said it was easy but most things in life aren’t. I think that balancing soccer and school really comes down to time management but it not something that every person can do. I often draw parallels for people to show that there are many other students in college that are balancing as much, if not more than me. I look at the amount of work that girls in sororities put in and I am thankful that when I leave the field my work is done. I think that in today’s world a lot of students are balancing a lot of things and that time management is the key to figuring it all out.
sz: You are preparing to enter the Women’s Professional Soccer League Draft, transitioning from collegiate to professional competition is typically a big shift. What do you anticipate as the major challenges for you at this next level, mentally, physically, and socially through team dynamics?
I know that I am going to be matched up with players of a higher caliber on a more consistent basis and that teams are going to be harder but overall I think that playing at Carolina has prepared me for any type of environment. I think major challenges may entail the fact that it is a much longer season (6 months compared to 4) and that it is now my job and not my hobby.
sz: Is the potential income from playing professional women’s soccer at this time high enough to afford you a full-time career at the next level? Will you have to supplement your income from other types of work? Can players negotiate independent endorsements from companies? I know you spoke about attending law school is this something you could do between seasons?
I am not really sure how to answer this question, as I will not know what my salary looks like until my contract is negotiated. No I am waiting to go to law school when I am completely done with soccer so that I can divert all of my attention to graduating high in my class.
sz: What will you miss most about your athletic career as a Tar Heel?
I will miss the bonds and camaraderie that exists at UNC. There is a huge amount of respect among all student athletes and it is always so much fun to go to all of the different games and cheer them on. I will also miss seeing my teammates every day. When I tell you they are like my sisters I am not lying. I would honestly miss some of them on our days off and the best part of my day would be knowing that I would get to see them all at 3:00.
sz: What will you miss most about your time at UNC as a student?
Actually, since I am taking the spring semester off to play, I am going to finish up next fall so I am not quite done with school yet…
sz: What advice can you offer to aspiring D-1 soccer players who seek to replicate your success?
I think the biggest piece of advice that I can offer is that you can take your soccer career as far as you want to take it. If someone else is telling you to go practice and you do not want to do it, then maybe playing at the highest level is not for you. That is ok too though because there are several people who play soccer for the pure enjoyment of the sport. If you find yourself addicted to the game, cannot get enough of it, and want to reach the highest level, I would recommend applying yourself whole heartedly to everything that you do. Do not ever feel like you have completely learned the game as soccer is always evolving and getting better. If you push yourself and accept nothing less than your best, I think you will go far.
sz: Do you have any favorite inspirational stories, tips or quotes that have guided you?
I was having a really difficult time between my sophomore and junior year and was struggling with injury. I had remembered a poem that my dad had written me before I left for college and managed to find it in my room. Growing up my dad had always told me that I had “Earned the Right” to step onto any field. By this he meant that I had put in enough hours outside of games towards soccer, that I had earned the right to play on the field. This saying was aimed at helping me with self-confidence as I struggled with it for most of my youth career. After I found the poem I remember reading it and letting it become my mantra. It helped to get back to my roots and remember the little things that were necessary in order for me to be at my best.
Whitney thanks so much for spending the time with this interview. The Women's Professional Soccer league draft takes place Jan. 15th, I look forward to following your professional soccer career and would enjoy checking back with you to hear your thoughts as you adjust to this new level of play and lifestyle.
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Michael Beasley: Man-Up and Play Ball
Twenty year old Michael Beasley was the second overall pick in the 2008 NBA draft. In August, Beasley, who plays for the Miami Heat and finished his rookie season as Miami's second-leading scorer behind Dwayne Wade, checked himself into a Houston rehabilitation facility to seek help for psychological issues and apparent drug use.
While it is hard to imagine someone throwing away this amazing opportunity, it has become a much too familiar scenario for younger athletes who are placed in positions with money, power and fame. The whirlwind learning experience of professional athletics can either provide a trajectory for maturity and success or can be a quick decent into personal and professional ruin.
In the case of Michael Beasley, was it possible to predict he would have a hard time handling the pressures that suddenly appeared when he hit the jackpot by being such a hot commodity in the draft? In 2009 Beasley was fined multiple times for violations of team policy and right before rehab he posted disturbing comments and a photo that indicated possible drug use. Just a few years earlier he was an amazing high school star, but he attended six high schools in four different states. As a psychotherapist, I wonder if some of these events could have contributed to feelings of instability. If Michael came to see me as a psychotherapy client, I would keep this history in mind.
As someone who counsels young athletes in a variety of sports, my concern peaked as I read Michael's story. The following is an open letter to Michael Beasley and any other young athlete who chooses to make the transition to professional athletics.
Dear Michael:
I don't believe that you want to throw away this opportunity. I think you love basketball and want all the benefits that come with success. Your tattoo of a large basketball on your left shoulder surrounded by the text, "married to the game" is an example of your close identity with the sport.
With this in mind, I offer you the following ten steps. These steps are not only essential for your success and longevity as a pro basketball player, but will aide your development into the man you can become beyond the sport.
Ten Steps For Professional Success:
1) Recognize The Opportunity You Have Been Given
You've completed the athletic pre-requisites to play professional basketball, racking up impressive awards and setting records both in high school and in your year at Kansas State. You're now in the enviable position to challenge yourself and hone your skills as you compete against the greatest players in the game.
You've come this far, now honor your hard work, dreams, and talent and do what it takes to put drugs/alcohol to rest so you can get on with the gift you offer to the game. You need to act quickly, though, because time won't wait for you and there are lots of young talented players and veterans looking for a window to get their shot on a team.
This window of opportunity won't remain open for long. Miami Heat President, Pat Riley recently said, "I'm not going to forgive anybody's transgressions just merely because they are 20 years old." Can you blame him? Miami Heat is paying you 4ml. plus a year. Remind me again where else you can collect this type of coin as a college drop-out? The good news is basketball is what you love and are emotionally connected to--take your shot Michael.
2) Have The Courage To Confront Your Fears
Psychotherapy is a great and confidential place to sort out and face the emotional demons you carry from the past that may be presenting stumbling blocks to your success in the present. The franchise, management, your teammates and fans are not your enemies. Identify and explore the stumbling blocks you create or have brought from your past into your present. Drugs and alcohol are great distractions which numb you from your fears. Numbing is also the fastest way to extinguish your potential for beneficial growth.
Check out ex NFL super star quarterback, Warren Moon's new book, "Never Give Up On Your Dreams." Moon is the only player ever inducted into both the Pro Football and Canadian Football hall of fame. As a seven year old he lost his father to alcoholism and became man of the house caring for his mother and six sisters throughout his life. In his football journey he fought coaches who tried to dissuade him from becoming a quarterback because, at the time, it was believed a black man didn't have what it took to lead an offense. Moon became a well respected and winning quarterback in spite of death threats, racist taunts and the prejudice that he endured throughout his career.
Moon didn't let his fears, resentments or burdens prevent him from reaching his professional dreams. In his book he credits his decision to go into psychotherapy with bringing clarity to his life. You might want to try this.
3) Create A Real Support Team - Versus A Coat Tail Posse
You have one foot on the big stage and people are eager to go along for a ride on your coat tails. Hanging out with people who encourage you to take risks that can damage your public/professional image isn't the support that will help build your future. Your athletic talent and competitive success has given you this opportunity. Surround yourself with mentors and friends who also have earned their way to success.People that have earned their success can give you advice and support to help you cultivate your career. If you happen to be an anti-establishment kind of guy you will wield more influence in making changes in your industry by first bringing positive attention to yourself.
4) Be A Team Player
In high school and college you can be the big fish in a smaller pool of talent. Currently, you are a newbie in the biggest, strongest, most competitive environment of your sport. You need to build up your competency in this new arena. Develop relationships and credibility with your teammates and prove to yourself that you are worthy of transitioning into this new role. Be a team player. Your sphere of influence is representative of the franchise, the management and the sport of basketball. Teammates depend on your committed preparation and involvement to succeed on the court.
If you don't fit into the team culture of this franchise, make yourself attractive to other teams. Management takes note of the assets players bring on board. Examples of doing your job include: scoring points, making assists, good defense, works hard in season and off season, adds positive image and energy to the franchise, gets along with co-workers (teammates).
5) Develop A Professional Game Plan On And Off The Court
It's useful to realize no one owes you anything and you are not a finished product. You are at the beginning of your career. Players aren't drafted as high as you unless scouts and coaches recognize ability and potential. That's your value card.You have abundant access to resources through your agent and through the franchise.Use these valuable resources to develop a professional plan for yourself on and off the court.
Accept where you are in this moment. Know what obstacles you are creating and what obstacles are coming from outside of yourself both on and off the court. Find the best physical trainer, nutritionist and sport psychology consultant to work with. Make sure the people you hire to be a part of your personal team are people who can advise you and who are willing to confront you when they feel you are slipping off the track of your goals. Sit down with each of them and map out your professional needs. It is best to have a pre-season, in-season, and post-season plan. All these can be modified to adjust for unforseen needs that arise.
Even with a wildly successful sports career, you will retire from basketball a young man. In your off seasons begin lining up opportunities to talk with players in a variety of sports who have transitioned into business after their playing days. Being 20 years old it's hard to think this far ahead, but if you begin your research now you will have a better understanding of the value of your position as a player.
6) Don't Feed The Media
You have already made a few slip-ups with some things you have said to the media: "I'm 20 you can't expect me to be 30. I am going to make mistakes, do dumb stuff and learn. How mature you want me to be?" Mature or not, do not create the opportunity for negative press. When speaking to the media, remember that what you say will follow you. Even in the heat of the moment, you always need to be thinking about the image that you want to present about yourself and your team. If you whine about the team and your teammates the media will be more than happy to take this and spin it to entertain their audience.
You will do well to not take the things that the media writes about you personally. The media's job is to sell information and stories. Save your story for the auto-biography you are entitled to write at the conclusion of your career. At the completion of your career you will be in a position to articulate your message to fans and upcoming players who can learn from your professional journey.
7) Take Risks That Benefit Not Derail You
This section may seem a bit harsh, but at 20 years old your brain is not yet fully developed. The last part of the brain to develop are the frontal lobes, which govern the area of risk taking and awareness of consequences. This works for you and against you. Smart risk taking on the court is exciting and can pay off. Poor risk taking on and off the court can leave you by the side of the road without a job. Avoid becoming an asterisk in professional sports. What do you envision on your epitaph as a player? "He had great potential but due to immaturity succumbed to the pull of temptation and threw it all away." Or "He had a messy beginning but developed into a player who impacted the game, the fans, and realized his potential as a player."
8) Charity: Do Things For Other People
This may feel like a stretch for you right now, but think about the ways your position as a player enables you to inspire and offer hope to others through your acts. The NBA has multiple opportunities for you to associate your name with charities and causes that give purpose to your life. Talk to other players or participate in activities with them and find out how being involved in this way has helped enrich their lives. At some point it will dawn on you that the game of basketball and what is represents is much bigger than you.
9) Watch Out For Relapse
Once you complete your rehab program stay on track and take care of yourself. This includes not beating yourself up emotionally or lashing out at others when things don't go the way you plan. It also includes ongoing help and support through things like psychotherapy, 12 step meetings and talking with others who have been through what you've been through. It sounds like you've gotten a good start during your rehab program. Stay alert to the signs and symptoms of relapse. Increases in your frustration level, belief that everyone is against you, resentment, misdirected aggressiveness, impatience, cockiness, self-pity, focusing more on what is wrong in your environment instead of what you can do to change or succeed within it are all warning signs of relapse and should be heeded.
10) Develop A Vision Of Where You Want To Be In The Next 3-5 Years
This needn't be set in stone, but create a vision as to your goals as a player and beyond. Then make sure that every decision you make fits with that vision. If the decision doesn't advance the steps towards your short and long term vision/goals, reconsider acting on that decision. Develop an array of safety values that give you time to think before acting.
These Ten Steps are suggestions for you to move forward in your career. Change will not come easily, although I believe making the effort to change will bring you more reward than you can imagine. It is essential that you make a total commitment and do the work you need both personally and professionally. If you skip out on the work and don't give yourself every opportunity to succeed - there's a good chance you will fail. It took time to build your playing skills it will take time to build your professional life. You've arrived this far and I hope you make the choices that provide the best avenues for you to discover how good a player you can become.
As of this writing, Beasley after a month long stay in a Houston rehab center has rejoined the Miami Heat and is taking part in the voluntary off season work-outs.
*This article and additional information can be found on www.accessathletes.com
While it is hard to imagine someone throwing away this amazing opportunity, it has become a much too familiar scenario for younger athletes who are placed in positions with money, power and fame. The whirlwind learning experience of professional athletics can either provide a trajectory for maturity and success or can be a quick decent into personal and professional ruin.
In the case of Michael Beasley, was it possible to predict he would have a hard time handling the pressures that suddenly appeared when he hit the jackpot by being such a hot commodity in the draft? In 2009 Beasley was fined multiple times for violations of team policy and right before rehab he posted disturbing comments and a photo that indicated possible drug use. Just a few years earlier he was an amazing high school star, but he attended six high schools in four different states. As a psychotherapist, I wonder if some of these events could have contributed to feelings of instability. If Michael came to see me as a psychotherapy client, I would keep this history in mind.
As someone who counsels young athletes in a variety of sports, my concern peaked as I read Michael's story. The following is an open letter to Michael Beasley and any other young athlete who chooses to make the transition to professional athletics.
Dear Michael:
I don't believe that you want to throw away this opportunity. I think you love basketball and want all the benefits that come with success. Your tattoo of a large basketball on your left shoulder surrounded by the text, "married to the game" is an example of your close identity with the sport.
With this in mind, I offer you the following ten steps. These steps are not only essential for your success and longevity as a pro basketball player, but will aide your development into the man you can become beyond the sport.
Ten Steps For Professional Success:
1) Recognize The Opportunity You Have Been Given
You've completed the athletic pre-requisites to play professional basketball, racking up impressive awards and setting records both in high school and in your year at Kansas State. You're now in the enviable position to challenge yourself and hone your skills as you compete against the greatest players in the game.
You've come this far, now honor your hard work, dreams, and talent and do what it takes to put drugs/alcohol to rest so you can get on with the gift you offer to the game. You need to act quickly, though, because time won't wait for you and there are lots of young talented players and veterans looking for a window to get their shot on a team.
This window of opportunity won't remain open for long. Miami Heat President, Pat Riley recently said, "I'm not going to forgive anybody's transgressions just merely because they are 20 years old." Can you blame him? Miami Heat is paying you 4ml. plus a year. Remind me again where else you can collect this type of coin as a college drop-out? The good news is basketball is what you love and are emotionally connected to--take your shot Michael.
2) Have The Courage To Confront Your Fears
Psychotherapy is a great and confidential place to sort out and face the emotional demons you carry from the past that may be presenting stumbling blocks to your success in the present. The franchise, management, your teammates and fans are not your enemies. Identify and explore the stumbling blocks you create or have brought from your past into your present. Drugs and alcohol are great distractions which numb you from your fears. Numbing is also the fastest way to extinguish your potential for beneficial growth.
Check out ex NFL super star quarterback, Warren Moon's new book, "Never Give Up On Your Dreams." Moon is the only player ever inducted into both the Pro Football and Canadian Football hall of fame. As a seven year old he lost his father to alcoholism and became man of the house caring for his mother and six sisters throughout his life. In his football journey he fought coaches who tried to dissuade him from becoming a quarterback because, at the time, it was believed a black man didn't have what it took to lead an offense. Moon became a well respected and winning quarterback in spite of death threats, racist taunts and the prejudice that he endured throughout his career.
Moon didn't let his fears, resentments or burdens prevent him from reaching his professional dreams. In his book he credits his decision to go into psychotherapy with bringing clarity to his life. You might want to try this.
3) Create A Real Support Team - Versus A Coat Tail Posse
You have one foot on the big stage and people are eager to go along for a ride on your coat tails. Hanging out with people who encourage you to take risks that can damage your public/professional image isn't the support that will help build your future. Your athletic talent and competitive success has given you this opportunity. Surround yourself with mentors and friends who also have earned their way to success.People that have earned their success can give you advice and support to help you cultivate your career. If you happen to be an anti-establishment kind of guy you will wield more influence in making changes in your industry by first bringing positive attention to yourself.
4) Be A Team Player
In high school and college you can be the big fish in a smaller pool of talent. Currently, you are a newbie in the biggest, strongest, most competitive environment of your sport. You need to build up your competency in this new arena. Develop relationships and credibility with your teammates and prove to yourself that you are worthy of transitioning into this new role. Be a team player. Your sphere of influence is representative of the franchise, the management and the sport of basketball. Teammates depend on your committed preparation and involvement to succeed on the court.
If you don't fit into the team culture of this franchise, make yourself attractive to other teams. Management takes note of the assets players bring on board. Examples of doing your job include: scoring points, making assists, good defense, works hard in season and off season, adds positive image and energy to the franchise, gets along with co-workers (teammates).
5) Develop A Professional Game Plan On And Off The Court
It's useful to realize no one owes you anything and you are not a finished product. You are at the beginning of your career. Players aren't drafted as high as you unless scouts and coaches recognize ability and potential. That's your value card.You have abundant access to resources through your agent and through the franchise.Use these valuable resources to develop a professional plan for yourself on and off the court.
Accept where you are in this moment. Know what obstacles you are creating and what obstacles are coming from outside of yourself both on and off the court. Find the best physical trainer, nutritionist and sport psychology consultant to work with. Make sure the people you hire to be a part of your personal team are people who can advise you and who are willing to confront you when they feel you are slipping off the track of your goals. Sit down with each of them and map out your professional needs. It is best to have a pre-season, in-season, and post-season plan. All these can be modified to adjust for unforseen needs that arise.
Even with a wildly successful sports career, you will retire from basketball a young man. In your off seasons begin lining up opportunities to talk with players in a variety of sports who have transitioned into business after their playing days. Being 20 years old it's hard to think this far ahead, but if you begin your research now you will have a better understanding of the value of your position as a player.
6) Don't Feed The Media
You have already made a few slip-ups with some things you have said to the media: "I'm 20 you can't expect me to be 30. I am going to make mistakes, do dumb stuff and learn. How mature you want me to be?" Mature or not, do not create the opportunity for negative press. When speaking to the media, remember that what you say will follow you. Even in the heat of the moment, you always need to be thinking about the image that you want to present about yourself and your team. If you whine about the team and your teammates the media will be more than happy to take this and spin it to entertain their audience.
You will do well to not take the things that the media writes about you personally. The media's job is to sell information and stories. Save your story for the auto-biography you are entitled to write at the conclusion of your career. At the completion of your career you will be in a position to articulate your message to fans and upcoming players who can learn from your professional journey.
7) Take Risks That Benefit Not Derail You
This section may seem a bit harsh, but at 20 years old your brain is not yet fully developed. The last part of the brain to develop are the frontal lobes, which govern the area of risk taking and awareness of consequences. This works for you and against you. Smart risk taking on the court is exciting and can pay off. Poor risk taking on and off the court can leave you by the side of the road without a job. Avoid becoming an asterisk in professional sports. What do you envision on your epitaph as a player? "He had great potential but due to immaturity succumbed to the pull of temptation and threw it all away." Or "He had a messy beginning but developed into a player who impacted the game, the fans, and realized his potential as a player."
8) Charity: Do Things For Other People
This may feel like a stretch for you right now, but think about the ways your position as a player enables you to inspire and offer hope to others through your acts. The NBA has multiple opportunities for you to associate your name with charities and causes that give purpose to your life. Talk to other players or participate in activities with them and find out how being involved in this way has helped enrich their lives. At some point it will dawn on you that the game of basketball and what is represents is much bigger than you.
9) Watch Out For Relapse
Once you complete your rehab program stay on track and take care of yourself. This includes not beating yourself up emotionally or lashing out at others when things don't go the way you plan. It also includes ongoing help and support through things like psychotherapy, 12 step meetings and talking with others who have been through what you've been through. It sounds like you've gotten a good start during your rehab program. Stay alert to the signs and symptoms of relapse. Increases in your frustration level, belief that everyone is against you, resentment, misdirected aggressiveness, impatience, cockiness, self-pity, focusing more on what is wrong in your environment instead of what you can do to change or succeed within it are all warning signs of relapse and should be heeded.
10) Develop A Vision Of Where You Want To Be In The Next 3-5 Years
This needn't be set in stone, but create a vision as to your goals as a player and beyond. Then make sure that every decision you make fits with that vision. If the decision doesn't advance the steps towards your short and long term vision/goals, reconsider acting on that decision. Develop an array of safety values that give you time to think before acting.
These Ten Steps are suggestions for you to move forward in your career. Change will not come easily, although I believe making the effort to change will bring you more reward than you can imagine. It is essential that you make a total commitment and do the work you need both personally and professionally. If you skip out on the work and don't give yourself every opportunity to succeed - there's a good chance you will fail. It took time to build your playing skills it will take time to build your professional life. You've arrived this far and I hope you make the choices that provide the best avenues for you to discover how good a player you can become.
As of this writing, Beasley after a month long stay in a Houston rehab center has rejoined the Miami Heat and is taking part in the voluntary off season work-outs.
*This article and additional information can be found on www.accessathletes.com
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